Humanoid Typhoon
by TwoPsychoSues
Summary: On route to Earth, two very different women are stranded on a desert planet where status reports and protocols are the least of their problems. [Rating PG13 and above for violence, language, and adult situations]
1. The Crash

**Psycho Sue A:** Originally we wrote this just for the hell of it but it turned out pretty good. So we decided to post it. Read and review etc. Flames will be laughed at…and all that stuff. 

**Psycho Sue B:** I would like to warn all readers that our screen name is not an exaggeration. We are two crazy, psychotic, insane, sadistic, Sues. Btu read our fanfic anyway. It'll give you a laugh at least. Don't forget to read/review and all that.

**Psycho Sues: **The first chapter may not make sense and you'll probably be going "What the –" Please bear with us. It will get interesting and we will try to update daily (hence the shortness of the chapters).

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Trigun. If we did, we'd do some very…interesting…things with it. 

Enjoy!

Humanoid Typhoon 

* * * *

Chapter 1: The Crash 

'blip.' The onboard computer kicked on, sending a flash of gray-green light across the room, that faded to a dim brown color as the machine finished starting up.  

'Macarn Protocol 10.... 

Online...

Macarn Protocol 11...

Online...'

'blip.'

'Running Onboard Systems Check...

Proximity Alert-'

The green words flickered as the computer processed them and typed them out onto the screen. They passed by quickly, sending dim green lines of light across the reaches of the dark room as they moved up. As the final words appeared on the screen, the internal systems check was shut off and a red light that was embedded in the ceiling began to flash, the room went from dark to dimly lit by the red light, and the  computer turned on the rows of yellow emergency lights that were built around the sides of the chamber.

The room was soon filled with numerous clips and clicks as the rest of the instruments came to life. There were at least thirty screens and two consoles on either side of the room, each displayed readouts, and text scrolled up the screens at great speeds as the computers calculated.

The computer screens flashed and each displayed a set of numbers and  a door slid open. 'Click-Whhhhhr' a series of lights began to flash along the floor of the corridor that was adjoined to the room, the lights led the way to what appeared to be two small closets. The doors of the 'closets' slid up, and revealed two dark glass tubes, each was filled with a deep blue color, and within each was suspended a dark figure. A set of lights clicked on and the insides of the tubes lit up revealing the two girls, a screen above them showed a set of boxes they each turned green, however the last two changed from white to red instead and an alarm went off.

Every screen in the ship simultaneously flicked on to display the schematic of a starship, a few areas began to flash red, and the corridor began to shake as the ship plummeted towards a planet.

* * * *

She looked up at the sky. It was a hot, lazy day and no one seemed to feel like doing anything. Even the occasional passerby looked ready to lie down in the cool shade. Light rifts of clouds drifted across the blue sky. Her eyelids drooped. Time for a nap. She'd closed her eyes for an instant, less even, when a deep rumbling sound shattered the calm of the afternoon. 

She looked up to see a large flaming...something…falling to the ground. Deciding a nap would be better than investigating, she licked a black paw and went back to her rest with a sigh of content.

* * * * 

'...blip...' The computer screens flashed bits of text on black screens and reverted to a gray static, the emergency lights had nearly all been knocked out, and the ship was in shambles. The woman who was in the right tube slowly opened her eyes, and stared out at the exposed  wires, and fallen bulkheads. Her cylinder had been cracked and the middle of it cut nearly clean through by a pike of metal. She leaned forward and squinted her eyes as she looked around the dark corridor. She leaned forward, and pressed on the remaining pieces of glass, knocking them out and sending shards tumbling around the floor.

She stepped out onto the cold metallic floor, and stumbled falling onto her numb hands and knees. She rubbed the blue liquid out of her eyes, and squinted. Next to where she was the other cylinder had disconnected from the wall and fallen onto the floor. She reached out and touched the tube, and the display on the glass blipped. The glass tried to open, but because the cylinder was glass down it only turned on its side, and dumped out the woman it was carrying.

Her body fell to the ground with a slop. The impact shook her out of her artificial sleep and she slowly opened her eyes. She tried to move and a groan escaped her lips. Head pounding, she ignored the shards of glass all around and sat up. What happened? Confusion overcame her as she tried to remember something...anything. They were on a ship...but it all looked so strange, unknown. Looking at her goo covered hands, she noticed she was not alone. Slowly, her gaze flowed from feet, to torso, so confused eyes. The two stared at each other for some time, listening to the buzz of electricity and static of the computer, both trying to remember. 

Their thoughts were interrupted, however, as a loud, booming sound echoed throughout the ship. Both women brought their hands to their ears, futilely trying to block it out. Another sound joined the first, and another, and another. Soon, nothing could be heard over the racket of the bullets. 

Then, as suddenly as it all began, the sounds ceased.

The first woman uncovered her ears, and stared off into the dimly lit hall, she slowly got to her feet by pulling herself up on one of the fallen bulkheads, and started to walk towards there the sound had come from. She wobbled a bit at first but slowly gained a little skill as her basic motor skills returned to her. She fell down just before she came to a large glass door with a second set of doors behind it. On the wall there was a screen who's hanging stand had been twisted and it appeared to only be hanging by a set of chords. On the screen was a very static and rather poor image of what must have been outside the ship, it displayed a group of large bewildered men with weapons shooting at the door.  

Slowly but surely, the second woman crawled behind her, still rather disoriented she had not yet required the basic motor skills that the first woman had and kept slipping on the smooth metal floor because of the blue liquid that covered them both. She stopped and almost lied down next to the first woman who was staring at the image on the screen.  The first woman looked at the doors, then back down at the other, she attempted to make a sentence but couldn't quite remember how to form the words. 

"Of-fis-er?" She nearly choked out and stared down at her companion.

The second managed to somehow lift her body to a standing position and began walking down the hall. The first followed and caught up when the other fell again. The sounds from outside were very loud now, almost as though they were a wall away. The second tried to stand. She got halfway up before her exhausted legs gave way. She fell back in to the wall. Her hand hit something and several beeps echoed through the hall. All sound outside stopped as the wall she fell into disappeared and she fell, and fell, and fell.  

Finally, she hit something. With a groan, she opened her eyes to find numerous shadows looking down at her. Fear gripped her as she felt something move under her; another shadow. She tried to scramble away but couldn't as hands strong as iron gripped her upper arms.

The first woman inched towards the opening and looked out. Seeing the figure grab her companion, she instinctively stepped forward. It was too late when she realized her foot barely missed the edge she was standing on and she fell as well. One of the shadows caught her with another iron grip.

Both women stared at the shadows, however they reacted rather opposite each other. The first woman, who had been the second to fall merely stared at them, and seemed like she couldn't quite grasp her thoughts. The second flailed and tried to escape out of fear and confusion. They stared for a few moments but neither had the numbness and fogged thoughts started to clear from their bodies and minds replaced by throbbing pain and confusion. They began to realize just how injured they were as the pain began to spread throughout them. 

The second woman was bleeding from her hairline, had a nasty bruise on the side of her head, a dislocated shoulder, and her wrist looked rather out of shape. The first woman had gotten less bruised but more cut from the  crash landing,  she had numerous small cuts along her suit, and many shards of glass stuck in the fabric, she had a large gash across her stomach from where the beam had broken through the tube and bruises on her hands and knees. Both began shaking as what appeared to be a side effect from the drugs that put them into that state of suspended sleep wore off. Both blacked out and saw no more.

* * * *

End Chapter 

*** * * ***


	2. The Red Coated Stranger

**Crazy Sue A:** I think we need them to be more conscious for the rest of the fic. Don't you?

**Crazy Sue B:** Hey! Look! Vash is coming in this chapter! *wails* I want reviews! *cries*

**Crazy Sues: **PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! We're sorry if it's confusing. If you think it's too much…TELL US!

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Trigun. If we did, we'd continue this wonderful series instead of doing fanfiction.  

Humanoid Typhoon 

* * * *

Chapter 2: The Red Coated Stranger 

For the second time, she opened her eyes to find she had a pounding head. It was not until she tried to sit up ad discovered her hands and legs bound that he remembered, foggily, what had happened. Still not over the effects of being in stasis, panic easily gripped her and took control.

The first woman to awake from stasis slowly opened her eyes and looked around at their surroundings. She was aching all over and couldn't seem to get the voices of the surrounding minds out of her head. She took in the sight of the lantern lit bar around them and squinted at the windows. It was daytime, no doubt about it, but it was dim perhaps a cloudy day. She looked at the people around them and tried to stand. The two women were tied down to chairs, and a group of men were sitting at tables near them. 

The first woman looked to her companion, and suddenly wished she had a basement to hide in. Her companion's hair was beginning to float and she had a glazed-over look in her eyes.

The panicking woman's body began to shake. She was almost completely lost in her fear when something, or rather someone, burst in though the door of the bar. Startled back to reality, both women blinked. 

It was a tall, blond haired stranger in a red coat. He looked around the room with a completely bewildered and idiotic expression before bounding up to the two bound women, "Hello there, what are you two doing here?"

The two women stared at the blonde stranger and blinked. They winced slight as they heard a booming voice coming from the table with the men that had captured them. 

"YOU! What are you doing, don't talk to those girls! They're ours!" A large man wearing an oversized cowboy outfit stepped up, and lifted his rifle into the air first pointing it at Vash then slinging it over his shoulder. A group of rather scrawnier looking men with large guns leapt up and pointed guns at the blonde man and yelled 'YEAH' in unison.

Vash sweat dropped and raised his hands, "Now, now, I was just..." a gunshot at his feet interrupted whatever excuse he was making. Both women winced and struggled to free their hands and cover their ears. 

Seeing this, Vash tried again, "Wait don't-" Another gunshot. The other bandits followed the example of their leader and opened fire. Vash the Stampede danced around dodging their shots in the most reckless of manners. Deciding he had to stop this before someone, like him, got hurt, Vash grabbed the edge of the nearest wooden table and stood it up as a barrier.

The bandit leader laughed, "That won't help you," The shooting intensified. Suddenly, the table now full of holes flew at them and the gang scattered. The table fell back onto the bandit gang's leader, the large man in the cowboy outfit looked even more angry than before, and fired his gun up into the air as he pushed the table off himself. 

"GET HIM!" He screamed and the gang moved in on Vash.

The two women watched the fighting and blinked as they saw the man dodging bullets and random punches in their defense...or his - whichever.

The bandit gang pounced on Vash from all angles and he let out a rather girlish scream as they wrapped a rope around him and tossed him at the boss. Vash gulped as he looked up and smiled nicely, "I don't suppose we could just call this a mistake?"

"Yeah, its a mistake...Your mistake." The bandit leader kicked Vash and he rolled over near the chairs with the two women in them. He and his men proceeded to discuss how they were going to take care of this 'clown.'

Vash blinked before turning a warm smile to the women next to him, "Sorry about that. How did you two end up here, anyway?" He received no response as the girls seemingly stared at each other. One of them occasionally glanced at him. "Hey, Mr. Bandit,"  Vash called to the boss.

The gangster looked up and growled, "What?" 

"Umm..." Vash began, "I need to go to the bathroom,"

"..." The leader stared at him for a minute, and turned back to the huddled group of bandits. They whispered to one another and eventually a guy was shoved out of their ranks and walked over to Vash. 

"Okay...but don't try anything funny!" The random bandit yelled and dragged Vash out back by the rope he was tied with.

The two women stared, then shared a look that seemed to scream 'What the hell...?'

A few minutes passed before sounds of a struggle emanated from the back room. After a moment, Vash emerged, rubbing his wrists. "Sorry bout that," he called back to the room where, everyone presumed, the bandit lay unconscious. 

"What the fuck!" one of the gangsters cried out. 

The two women shared yet another look, and silently wondered if that man could read thoughts. They shook off that thought as they watched the fighting start. Vash was jumping on tables, flipped around, and dodged bullets. Every time Vash hit a man, he would be left unconscious and Vash would call back an apology as he fought the next. It was rather remarkable to watch one skinny blond man defeat a gang of bandits...but these bandits weren't the most intelligent people in the world.

"Why you little…" The bandit gang leader yelled as he discharged a few rounds at Vash who danced around and looked rather silly. 

Suddenly the shooting stopped and Vash turned around to find the situation worsen tenfold. Instead of pointing at him, the gun was aimed at the two women sitting near the wall. They both looked frightened but the one on left looked close to hysteria. 

His playfulness completely dissolving, Vash said, "Leave them out of this,"

The bandit laughed, "Oh yea? Watcha gonna do?"

The man barely had time to think before Vash's position changed from across the room to a foot in front of him. "WHAT THE-" his gun went flying. Before the metallic object fell to the floor, the Bandit leader was on the ground unconscious and Vash was freeing the women. 

Both had trouble figuring out exactly what happened, as he was untying them the second who had been so close to hysteria moments before pushed out of the chair air if it was on fire. The first, however, simply sat there still rather dazed from the remnants of the drugs and the lost blood as Vash untied her. The majority of their memory had returned by now, and they were in full control of their motor functions. The second woman looked at Vash for a moment before yelling at him.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, playing around like that," she hissed, "I've never seen such an idiot before in my life! Why the hell didn't you beat them all from the start you bastard?!" It started as a hiss and ended as a full out yell. 

Vash was a bit taken aback by her outburst. Through his surprise however, he saw her fatigue and general state, "Hey, you should calm down..."

"Calm down!? Don't you tell me to calm down you idiot! It's your goddamn fault I'm upset, you-" she never finished the sentence. Her anger my have had a limitless supply, but her battered body could not keep up. Her eyes fluttered closed as she fell like a puppet with cut strings. Instinctively, Vash caught her.

"Forgive her..." The first woman spoke up in a rather soft voice. "She gets angry rather easily...and today has been hard on the both of us." She stood up, and used the chair to balance herself. She smiled at Vash and took in a deep breath. "Thank you for helping us..." She said just as her body gave out and her mind fell to darkness. There was a soft thud as she hit the ground.

* * * *


	3. Unfortunate Winds

**(Author's notes of the two psycho/crazy sues who are henceforth to be referred to as A and B)**

**A:** Hello readers! (I say readers because there are…three of you now.) We are so glad you have chosen to read this!

**B: **TOO MANY FANFICS....AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *passes out *

**A:** Errr… forgive her folks, she has to work on too many monster fics, I think she's broken her brain… Well onward!

**Disclaimer:** No…we still don't own Trigun… Probably never will, so don't sue us…*pun unintentional *

Chapter 3: Unfortunate Winds

Vash looked at the occupants of the nearby bed. He'd cleaned their wounds as best he could but they needed to bathe and remove the now-dry bluish green substance covering them from head to foot. The one closer to him caught his attention as she stirred and awoke.

The first woman winced like she was listening to someone yell in her ear, and opened her eyes. She stared up at the ceiling above and moved her arm discovering how horribly stiff it actually was, in fact, which seemed to be the case with all of her limbs. She sat up, and rubbed her temples and groaned slightly before noticing the red-coated man. She moved back rather swiftly, which appeared almost out of character for her.

"It's okay- don't be afraid!" Vash leaned forwards and held out his hands in a stop motion. 

The woman winced again, and pressed her hand on her stomach where she had been cut. She pulled her hand back, and stared at the bandages on it. She took a moment and realized she was covered in bandages and that dried fluid from the Stasis Tanks. 

"You shouldn't move around too much..." Vash stood up, and took a bowl and piece of cloth off the table near him. He sat down on the bed she was in, and dipped the rag into the water. "You'll hurt yourself more, and we don't want that at all!" He smiled and handed her the damp rag. "My name is Vash," He said cheerfully as she took the rag from him and wiped some of the dirt and dried blue fluid off her face.

"My name... is Lomnen," The woman smiled back at him, and handed held out the rag for him to take.

"Who's she then?" Vash pointed to the bed that was beside Lomnen's. 

"Her name is Iriya, she is my partner." Lomnen smiled and leaned towards Iriya's bed to check on her, she looked fine, but she was sleeping like a rock.

"Partner?" Vash blinked at Lomnen and took the rag from her.

"Yes, we are terraformers," Lomnen replied quietly, and blinked at Vash. "You wouldn't happen to know where we are...would you?"

"What's a terraformer?" Vash asked with a blank look.

"They are people who go out...to planets to see if they can sustain life..." Lomnen paused, as if trying to remember more.

"But...How do you...?" Vash gave her an amazed look, and trailed off just as Iriya began to stir.

"Iriya?..." Lomnen leaned towards her partner and  watched her awaken rather than answering Vash's question.

Iriya groaned as she looked at her friend and partner. "What happened?"

"We were saved from a nasty group of men by Mr. Vash here." Lomnen spoke softly to her and motioned to the man sitting on the bed behind her.

Iriya's piercing green gaze turned to the red clad man. "I see. Then, thank you Mr. Vash,"

 He smiled and raised a hand, "just Vash"

"He seems like a very nice man," Lomnen smiled at her partner, and scooted back on the bed a little. Iriya just smiled.

"So," Vash began, "About terraforming-"

 "Oh Iriya, how's your head? Does it hurt?" Lomnen leaned over to inspect the bandages and large bruise on her partner's head.

"Yes, I don't think the stasis mechanisms worked correctly. But I can't remember clearly..."

"It would probably explain why we are covered in the Bionic fluids, rather than having been washed off as usual..." Lomnen sighed, and referred to the waking procedures they normally followed.

"Stasis mechanisms? Bionic fluids? Terraformers?" Vash looked horribly confused but continued to listen anyways.

 Iriya turned to him, "Do you know where we could wash off?"

He stared for a moment then smiled, "Unfortunately no. This town doesn't have a lot of water and there are no ponds or streams around," he said. 

"Well, I'd still like to walk around," Lomnen said as she stood.

Vash looked up at her, "Are you sure?"

Iriya stood up, "Of course we're sure," They headed for the door.

"Don't worry Mr. Vash we wont get lost, we promise." Lomnen bowed and almost toppled over, but recovered herself and headed for the door again.

Lomnen opened it and Iriya turned, "Vash, thank you for taking care of us. We really appreciate it.

Lomnen peeked from behind the door, "Mr. Vash? Didn't you say there wasn't a lot of water here?"

"There isn't," He replied.

"But there's a pond right outside..."

Vash looked past her, surely enough, there was a small pond outside. "Wha?" He could have sworn that wasn't there before but he couldn't be sure. IT was dark and he'd been carrying the two of them when he found this cabin. 

"Well, I guess I was wrong. You girls go ahead," He said going back inside and closing the door. 

"What a gentleman," Lomnen said with a half smirk of a smile.

Iriya eyed her partner, "What are you talking about? He's looking out the window,"

Not hearing their conversation, Vash knelt at the window, hands on the sill and eyes wide.

"Oh well," Lomnen and Iriya exchanged knowing glances. As each began to undo the clasps of her suit, Vash's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Lomnen had barely exposed her shoulders when a sudden gust of wind blew. Vash's face inched closer and closer to the window as it suddenly swung wide open; slapping him full force. "OWWWWWW,"

The women were clean and redressed before Vash regained his senses. He stepped out as the girls were finishing up. Iriya leaned over wringing out the raven red tresses of her hair. Lomnen stood, back arched, and hands at the back of her neck, redoing a clasp.

Iriya's suit was whit and green and punctuated every single curve and crevice in her body. It covered everything from her neck down and contrasted starkly with her black-red hair. Her unnerving eyes stood out from behind wet bangs and the moonlight made her look almost surreal.

Lomnen struggled to re-hook the clasp on the back of her white and blue flight suit, that was rather identical to Iriya's. The suit was skin tight, for the most part, it had a few pieces of padding on it, and a few insulated wires that ran the length of it. The main portion was a body suit that had white gloves and boots attached, and a pair of long pieces of fabric that fell down from her shoulder blades to her heels, that gave her a rather celestial look in the moonlight. She finally gave up on the clasp, and tossed her a-cut dark blue hair back a few times to dry it out which consequentially exposed her pointed ears.

"I hope that window didn't hurt Mr. Vash too Much Iriya..." Lomnen sighed, and walked back towards the house.

"Oh yes, are you all right Mr. Vash?" Iriya smiled

"One, it's just Vash, no Mr. Two, it takes more than that to injure me!" He struck a triumphant pose.

"Oh that's good Mr. Vash...When you didn't regain consciousness I was getting a little worried..." Lomnen smiled, and entered the cabin.

"Huh?" 

"...We were out there for a while- we even had to come in and look for towels because we didn't have anything to wear until our suits dried out... But there weren't any so we came to check on you and then went back out…" Lomnen explained their whole escapade while Vash was unconscious and sighed. "But I guess you're alright now..."

_[A/N: ... The exact expression of Vash The Stampede could not have possibly been _

Captured in words, however we WILL tell you what he did...] 

Iriya followed Lomnen inside, leaving Vash to himself.

"...Why me...?" Vash looked up to the sky, and whined pitifully.

* * * * *


	4. Dreaming

**Author's Notes:**

**A:** Well, we're back again! …*crickets chirp*

**B:** ZZZ…zzz…ZZZ…zzz

**A:** *sweat-drop* Okay…well yeah…I suppose this ends our brilliant Author's Notes…

**Disclaimer:** We still don't own Trigun… But if you want to believe we do, then go right on ahead!

Chapter 4: Dreaming 

By the time he went into the cabin, both women were past asleep. Settling down in his previous spot, he gazed out the window at one of the moons. He let out a near-silent sigh of longing. He stayed that way for a while before finally allowing himself to drift to sleep. 

* * * * 

It had been quite sometime since Vash's reunion with his brother. Life had once again become good. Vash and Meryl's relationship had progressed and Knives was back to what Vash considered normal - how he was before all problems arose. Milly had returned to her home and family for some time since Meryl had given up her position as an insurance agent.  Everything was the way it should be and all were happy. 

But nothing lasts forever.

That morning, Vash went through his regular morning routine. It wasn't until later in the day that he discovered Knives missing. After everything, just when he thought he'd gotten though, his brother disappeared. 

He didn't know whether to be furious, sad, worried, or happy. He did, however, know he had to find Knives before he tried to annihilate the human race again. 

But there was one problem.

"Meryl, you have to understand -" 

"NO! You shouldn't have to go. Just leave him be. He can't do anything!"

"We both know that's not true. He'll try again and again until he succeeds,"

"If you knew that then why didn't you kill him when you had the chance!?"

Vash recoiled. He'd thought she acted peculiarly when he'd returned with his live brother but he blamed it on the fact that she didn't know Knives. He never dreamed she wanted him dead.  "Meryl,"

"I don't care! We have a life here, don't take that happiness away from us…from ME!"

He lowered his head, "What about my happiness?" She looked up at him abruptly, "W-what?,"

"You should know me well enough by now to know I won't be able to be happy with him back to his old ways," Meryl took a step back but he didn't let her off that easily. Stepping forward, he grasped her upper arms tightly but not painfully, "No matter how much I love you…and I do…as long as my brother suffers, I can't just sit here with my hands in my pockets,"

Awkward silence followed. Vash stared at Meryl while she stared at the floor. A single tear fell from her before she broke the silence, "Fine. Go." Her voice held no emotion but anger. Violently, she pushed away from him and headed for the door without a single look back. 

Her final words and the slam echoed in Vash's mind long after she had gone. 

* * * *

The sun rose high into the morning sky, spreading its fingertips of roseate light across the horizon. The clouds that had blocked the sky on the previous day were gone by dawn, and replaced by a light fog covering the dunes of sand and the sand rock roads. There were no birds around to sing, however the light was bright enough to awaken most sleepers.

The sun grew larger and golden as it rose into the sky, it was around nine-o-clock' when Lomnen awoke from her peaceful sleep only to immediately fall into panic. She leapt out of her bed, and examined the empty covers of the bed next to her where Iriya should have been sleeping, but most definitely wasn't. 

"Iriya- Iriya-?" Lomnen leaned out the window and called her partner's name expecting a response. She continued yelling but got no reply from her partner, she did however manage to wake up Vash with a rather good start.

"What's going on? Huh?" Vash opened his eyes and nearly fell out of the chair he had been sleeping in. He spotted the two empty beds, and caught a glimpse of Lomnen as she pulled the door open and sped outside. "Hey! Wait a second!" Vash tumbled out of his chair and scrambled outside after Lomnen. "What happened?" Vash stopped right next to Lomnen and nearly fell over.

"Iriya is gone! Oh where could she have gone to?" Lomnen sounded rather frantic, which also seemed against her character. She rather hated when people ran away from her and didn't tell her where they were going, she tended to worry quite a bit.

"Well the city of January is about an hours walk in that direction…" Vash pointed towards a set of rocks that jutted up out of the sand, and appeared to form the top of a cliff.

"I have to go find her!" Lomnen began to worry about her friends temper and what trouble it could get her into. She quickly began jogging off in the direction of the rocks.

"Hey wait for me! You'll get lost in January!" Vash chased after her because letting two injured lost women wander around a large city like January unescorted wouldn't be right in his book.

The two ran until they came to the edge of the rocks. Vash stopped on the rocks and looked ready to collapse, even though he was skilled in running for long distances he wasn't used to running like that in such heat. Lomnen wasn't in much better condition, she was tired and about to pass out but she refused to allow herself to look it. She stood high, and looked down over the city, it was breathtaking.

Though not very high tech, the white houses seemed to shine in the sun, and there was a huge piece of a starship surrounding the city, it rose over one hundred feet into the air and had what appeared like a giant light bulb placed in the center. Lomnen didn't take too much time to admire the sights because if Iriya was down there, she had to get to her as soon as possible.

Vash recovered and got his second wind just as Lomnen was looking for a way down to the city. He walked up beside her and set a hand on her shoulder, this almost caused her to jump out of her skin but when she realized it was just Mr. Vash she went back to looking.

"We HAVE to find her before she looses her temper…" Lomnen's worry and urgency showed in her voice as she looked around. "Do you know the fastest way down?" She turned to Vash and gave him a pleading look.

"Well there is a path down over there…" Vash pointed to a path that doubled back at least fifty times and led down into the city.

"That will do!" Lomnen rushed to the path with Vash in tow. Rather than walking down the path slowly, she leapt down off of one level and landed where the path was after it had doubled back. She repeated this rather dangerous and hurried practice until she stumbled and rolled the rest of the way down on the sand.

Vash, however, took a much safer route and simply ran down the path rather than leaping. If it weren't for her stumbling he wouldn't have been able to catch up to her when she went into the city. He helped her up out of the sand, and they began to search the city for Iriya.

* * * *

**(Challenge Time:** Think you're good at figuring out pointless questions and retrieving information that no one would ever really care about? Then this is for **you.**

_"Can you tell which Author is the creator of which Sue?"_

If you think **you** know the answer to this Challenge Time, then post it in a review- If you get it right you may win a mystery prize! _[…nothing of actual value of course.]_ **)**


	5. To Dodge a Bullet

**Author's Notes:**

**A:** Wow…a whole one review… (Not that we don't appreciate the person who did review, and those who've reviewed in the past!)

**B: **You'd think we'd get a little more recognition… They need to be more conscious from now on. Don't you agree?

**A:** Indeed… But you must admit that dream sequences are a good way to show history…

**B:** True… 

**A/B:** _*Announce in a creepy unison*_ By the way! The answers for the challenge question will only be accepted up until Chapter 7! SO get guessing!

**Disclaimer:** *little card taped to page reads _'See Previous Chapters'_*

Chapter 5: To Dodge a Bullet

Iriya wandered through the bustling city. Children played in the streets while adults were busy with a number of tasks: from merchandising to cleaning. IT wasn't a high tech city like she was used to, but it certainly left a lasting impression on her. They're all so happy…and to think we thought this planet was uninhabited. They must have been here for some time to have a city this large. Then there was the giant light bulb shaped plant in the center of the city. It looked like ancient technology not of human origin. She'd been to Earth numerous times and theirs was by far different. 

Continuing down the street she noted all the different kinds of shops and stores there were: flower, cloth, jewelry, weapon, and many more. As she passed a tavern, the enticing smell of freshly cooked food traveled to her nose. Her stomach growled. That's right, she groaned inwardly, I haven't eaten anything since we were brought out of stasis. Changing her direction, she entered the noisy tavern. 

Ignoring the looks she received from various individuals, she walked straight up to the counter, "Excuse me," she said with a polite smile, "What kind of food do you have?"

The Barmaid - a nice looking elderly woman - took in her appearance. She'd had some strange people come in over the years but none, especially none of the women, had worn clothing like that. She must have been a brave girl. Her manner, however, was polite and warm so the barmaid decided she liked this strange young woman. "We have salmon, turkey, and beef sandwiches, flour cake, and fried pork," She told her with a smile. 

"I'll have beef sandwich."

"Right away dear,"

Iriya sad on one of the tall stools and lost herself in thought. What now? I should probably find Lomnen; I bet she's worried. She hadn't intended on wandering that far. However, seeing thee city made her forget completely about going back. 

Someone blundering into the tavern brought her out of the reverie and she spared a glance at the door. Oh sh… Of all the people it could be, it had to be them. Quickly she turned her head back to facing the bar and ran over her options. 

The rowdy group of bandits took up about a quarter of the room. "Can I get you anything?" the fearful voice of the barmaid asked. The bandit leader - the same who had threatened to kill Iriya and Lomnen less than a day before - ordered drinks for him and his men. Their talk and laughter filled the room. 

Iriya sat unmoving, not wanting any attention drawn to her. Maybe she could ease her way out without them noticing. The barmaid placed a plate with a huge sandwich in front of her, "Here you go," she said but Iriya could tell her worried mind was elsewhere. This knowledge stirred something inside her: a fiery pulse. She hated idiots like this gang leader and his bandits. Clenching her teeth, she told herself over and over to stay put. Unfortunately, irony would have its way as a rough hand rested, or rather grabbed, her shoulder.

"Well lookie what we have here! What are you up to babe? Love the outfit by the way," he laughed, she could smell the alcohol on his breath. Pathetic…he's already drunk, her mind sneered. 

"Take your hands off me," Her voice was cold, controlled, and low. 

"Or you'll what?" he sneered.

That was it. She felt something inside snap. Slowly, still with her back to him, she stood. With one swift swipe of her arm, he was on the ground with a bewildered expression. His companions immediately noticed and one of the brighter ones, if it was possible to be a bright bandit, recognized her, "Boss! It's that girl from before!"

All attention was on her now as the leader growled, "What are you waiting for you morons, GET HER!"

Unfortunately for them, that was easier said than done. The smile on Iriya's face chilled every one of them to the bone before they realized she was no longer standing behind the stool. One by one they fell. Some were thrown across the room; some were felled where they stood, until all but one was on the ground, groaning in pain. 

He stood, pressed against the wall staring with wide eyes at what he though was a deamon. When she turned her gaze to him, he was sure of it. Not brilliant green, but red was the color of her eyes - the color of blood. Her smirk didn't help his fear one bit as she began to slowly advance on him. 

She stopped just a few feet away, "And then there was one," she said. He barely had time to think before he felt a searing pain in his midsection and flew through the air. With a crash, he went though the window and to the street beyond. 

The tall, slender young woman stood amid the bodies she'd personally laid on the ground. Her gaze did not change as she said, "If you ever show your faces near this town again I'll make sure you're not around to do so anymore," She turned to the barmaid who looked at her in shock, "I'm sorry about the mess," emerald eyes reflected her apology. The old woman smiled, "It's all right. I can deal with a broken window. They've caused worse before," Iriya returned the smile. 

They were interrupted by the sound of slow, rhythmic clapping. 

Alert once more, Iriya turned around to find a man wrapped in a black cape leisurely sitting in a chair. His sarcastic applause was enough to spark her anger once more, "Can I help you?" 

He stopped and tilted his head, "Nicely done," the silver haired man stood and walked towards the door. As he passed her, he whispered, "Though it would have been better to just kill them," Iriya froze. As he walked out, she spun around to see his retreating form. What…?

* * * * 

Lomnen rushed into the tavern and collided head on with the man in the black cape who was trying to exit, she knocked him back into a table in her rush and fell forward onto her knees in front of Iriya. "You...used...your...power...I...take...it..." Lomnen panted, and glared up at Iriya for leaving without telling her. 

"No actually," Iriya replied with a grin, "I just beat them up,"

"...What? I could have sworn..." Lomnen stood up, and remembered the man she knocked over.

Lomnen spun around and stared at the man she knocked over, she blinked, and took a few steps towards him. "I am so very sorry sir! I really am!"

He slowly stood up. All eyes were on him as he straightened. Lomnen was a bit startled by the expressions on his face. He was…furious would be the best term. They could hear his breaths quicken and deepen and saw his eyes widen, "How…dare…you…?" He ground out. 

Lomnen took an involuntary step back. The intensity of his blue eyes alone would be enough, but the rage clouding them was overwhelming. 

"How dare you?" He repeated, his voice more calm this time.

In the blink of an eye a peculiar black gun was drawn from somewhere inside the cloak. It was aimed directly at her head. With the slightest movement of his hand, he could end her life without a second thought. 

Her blue eyes narrowed. He's going to do it…that was all she had time to think before the gunshot echoed through the small tavern. 

The silver haired man's eyes widened farther - but not of fear, anger, or glee. He looked at her with astonishment. The sound of metal hitting the ground resounded in his ears. He looked down to see the bullet lying at her feet. He failed to notice, however, the small bit of moisture around it. 

The two locked gazes. 

The crash of someone coming through the door ended the staring contest. 

A very flushed Vash stood just inside the door, "Lomnen!! What…" He trailed off when he realized just who stood across from the woman.

"Knives…?" Vash uttered with astonishment, his bewildered face soon turned cold when he spotted the dark gun in Knives' hand. He narrowed his eyes and moved into the room, facing knives the whole of the time. "What are you doing here?" Vash asked while keeping a close watch on his opponent.

"Vash, Brother, so good to see you again." Knives smirked and almost sang the greeting to Vash. Both Iriya and Lomnen looked horribly confused and even a tad afraid a moment after they heard the term 'brother.' "I was just trying to teach this woman some manners but it seems she has managed to outwit my gun." Knives smirked and narrowed his eyes at Lomnen like a wolf awaiting the kill.

"What?" Vash stepped in front of Lomnen, and a flash of worry shot through his eyes but was quickly replaced by the same cold apprehension he felt every time he saw 'this' Knives. 

"It seems we will be seeing each other more often Brother. That is, if these two ladies happen to be staying with you…" Knives shot Vash a rather cool smile, and an insane flash shot through his eyes. He turned from Vash and walked out of the bar calmly, disappearing from sight almost instantaneously after he walked out the door.

The people in the tavern seemed rather tense and stared at the three and there was a prolonged silence. 

"We should probably leave…" Vash sighed, and finally stopped staring at the tavern door.

"Yeah," Iriya nodded and walked over to check on Lomnen. Lomnen looked tired, but she paid attention to Iriya and began to walk out with her and Vash. They left the tavern, and headed back towards the Cabin. 

* * * *


	6. Cliffhangers are Evil

**Author's Notes:**

**B:** MAHAHAHA! _*lights flash in a dramatic way*_

**A:** May I ask what you are doing?

**B:** Errr… _*stops flicking the light switch*_ Being evil?

**A:** And you don't think that part you wrote at the end was evil enough?

**B:** … Point.

**Disclaimer:** For those of you who still haven't realized that we DON'T own Trigun, we would like for you to send five dollars and your credit card number-. _***A** is cut off by **B***_ Err… Enjoy the fic folks.

Chapter 6: Cliffhangers are Evil

It was around noon, and the sun was high in the sky above the desert planet. They were climbing up the path that led out of the city, and it seemed that it kept getting hotter and hotter outside. The wind ceased as they made their way to the top of the path and began the long walk back to the cabin.

"Well…what happened?" Vash tried to break the long miserable silence as they walked back. The two girls trudged on behind him and he came to the conclusion that they, most definitely, were not used to this kind of heat.

There was a long prolonged silence that simply added to the horrid conditions when Iriya spoke up. "I just went for a walk…Stopped in for a sandwich then those bandits from the other day showed up," She paused, and looked over at Lomnen who seemed dazed and had a far away look in her eyes, then continued with her story. "I beat them up," She smirked and went on, "Then that guy, your brother, came up and said I should have killed them… Then Lomnen walked in and well…yeah." She trailed off and fell silent.

"That's all?" Vash turned his head to look back at the two. Iriya looked uncomfortable, and nervous to a point, while Lomnen looked like she was about to pass out from heat stroke. 'Apparently she can't take too much sun… but Iriya seems fine…' Vash thought, and turned back around to contemplate what must have happened, because it seemed that Iriya was avoiding what happened when Lomnen entered, and Lomnen didn't look up to answering any questions.

They walked for quite a while and finally arrived back at the cabin, Iriya looked dead tired, Lomnen looked…dead, and Vash was at his wit's end. Iriya walked inside the cabin to sit down for a while, Lomnen was lagging behind so she still had around a hundred feet to drudge, and Vash stopped right in front of the pond, or where it should have been. He had been too wrapped up in thought to notice but it seemed the clear blue pond had gone as mysteriously as it had come.

"What?" Vash stared down at the sunken spot of sand in front of the cabin where the pond was supposedly there this morning. 

"Mr. Vash…" Lomnen pulled on the back of his coat lightly, and spoke in a small pitiful voice. "Is there anything…to drink…?" She looked up at him and her eyes looked nearly glazed over. 

"There is some water-" Vash was cut off as Lomnen pushed on him, and they both fell back into the sunken sand area. Vash was about to shake her and stand up when he realized she had fallen asleep on her feet.

Moving gently as not to wake her, he picked her up and carried her inside. Iriya was lying on the bed with her eyes closed when Vash entered. He could see the sweat glistening on the little exposed skin she had. Her eyes opened and rested on him and Lomnen. 

"She fell asleep," he explained. Iriya sat up, "put her here," she motioned to the bed. Vash did so and watched as the woman felt her friend's cheeks. "Could you bring some water?" He nodded and took a flask of relatively cool water from a chair on the other side of the room. When he turned around, he wasn't sure whether to look or run away.

Iriya was unfastening clasps all along Lomnen's suit.

"W-what are you d-doing?" Vash stuttered. 

"She's way too hot in the full suit, so I'm changing it," Was the reply. Vash walked up to her and put the water on the bed. "Thanks," she said without looking up from her work. He watched Lomnen's sleeping form for a while: until major parts of the suit were being removed. Making a hasty excuse, he went back outside.

Iriya smiled at his antics. It didn't take her long to finish. After folding the extra pieces of uniform, she cradled her friend's head in her lap and uncapped the water flask. Gently she poured some of the water in Lomnen's mouth until she was satisfied it was enough. Taking a short swallow, she proceeded to change her suit as well. 

* * * *

Vash sat in the shade of a large rock several yards away from the cabin. He was deep in thought until Iriya came to join him. He was startled by her appearance. 

The sleeves of her suit were gone and so was the part covering her midsection. The white top that was left behind revealed plenty on every side of her torso. She'd left her boots and pants on and kept her reddish hair down. "Done," She sad smiling at him. 

"Is she all right?" 

"Yes. Just tired,"

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, each thinking about something different yet the same. Iriya spoke first, "Vash, can I ask a favor of you?"

He smiled, "Of course. What is it?"

"Could please stay with her for awhile and watch Lomnen. I need to pick up some things. I can go alone but I don't want to leave her by herself in her condition. You've already helped us so much and I hate to impose more but - "

"I'd be glad to," He interrupted. Iriya looked at him with grateful eyes. "But where are you going?"

"Lomnen knows where. When she gets better, she'll come find me,"

"And I'll come too,"

She nodded, "Alright,"

They both stood and headed inside. 

* * * * 

She'd been walking for a while. The sun was beginning to set and cast a reddish light on the still-hot sand. 

Deciding to take a rest, Iriya sat near one of the sand dunes and began to reassemble her suit. It was becoming cooler as evening descended and she was tired of carrying the pieces. She finished quickly and took a drink of water. 

She didn't know why but she trusted Vash. It was odd, because she didn't trust people easily. There was, however, something about him that elicited faith.  

Shrugging it off, she was about to stand when she felt something whiz towards her. Instinctively she rolled to the side into a crouching position and searched for the origin of the curved blade. 

Dodging another, Iriya briefly saw her assailant. Anger mounting, she deflected yet another blade with a kick. The black clad figure that was her attacker stopped and looked down at her from the top of the sand dune. 

A male voice staid, "You're good, to avoid three of my attacks,"

A smirk crept over her features, "Really? I didn't find them too difficult to dodge. Perhaps you should try again?"

He let out a growl and unleashed a flurry of spinning blades. Not one of them came close to injuring her. 

The 'fight' was beginning to bore Iriya until she heard the same, rhythmic clapping from before. Not letting her guard down, Iriya kept attention on the person she'd been fighting and searched for the man called Knives. 

She found him walking slowly towards her.

"Once again I am impressed. You show more skill every time I see you," he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes.

"That makes me wonder about why you'd be so interested in my skills," Iriya called out with the same fake friendliness.

Knives stopped several yards away, "Isn't it obvious?" her smile faltered. "I am interested to know how a mere human can sport such skill and ability."

There were several moments of silence before Iriya's steady and clear voice sounded in a low tone, "Who said I was human?"

**Author's Notes (Part 2):**

**A:** I would like to apologize for the evil cliffhanger, but this was the best place to divide the chapters… no seriously! And to make up for this we would like to present you with two things. **B**?

**B: **Thing Number 1, the knowledge that the next chapter will be incredibly long and contain large portions of history and fighting.

     Thing Number 2, this pronunciation chart below! (Via Wish's request!)

Lomnen Falma: _Lohme-Nen Fhalma _(Lohme: rhymes with Home, Nen: Men, Fhalma: F-all-muh)

Iriya Lavara: _Ih-rih-yah Lah-vah-rah _(Ih: I as in l-i-ft, rih: rip, yah/Lah/vah/rah: A as in law) 

**A:** And we would also like to request that, at least, two more people try to answer the **_'Challenge Question'_** in Chapter 5!

**B:** Come on people! _Fifty-Fifty_ chance! …and we'll probably put you in the fic even if you lose…

**A:** Yes…we did run out of bit-character names…


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